Wherein I lose sight of reality

Ah, yes. The blog. I’ve decided this will be a good way to punish myself by not writing something else that week. I could have been outlining a screenplay¹, or figuring out what happens to the bears², but instead I played video games and celebrated Christmas. So here we are.

Christmas was great. My family, as always, really brought it as far as gifts are concerned. Brent took us all to a Steelers game (that was a few weeks ago, but great watching the Browns fail, again), while my parents got me a new entertainment stand and a variety of other gifts³. So well played, holiday. Well played.

As for the rest of this post, I’ve recently gotten into fictional bands⁴, so I’ve decided to present to all⁵of you with a list some of my favorite fake bands. Enjoy.

Hilarious Bands I'd be Ashamed not to Mention

Figrin D’an and the Modal Nodes from Star Wars
You know ‘em. You love ‘em. They only got the one song, but it’s a Hell of a song.

Dr. Funke’s 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution from Arrested Development
Corporate sponsorship aside, it’s good to see a good old fashioned family band. The brief clip above gives a glimpse of the band’s history.

Sloshy and Limozeen from Homestar Runner
Two hilarious fictional bands that are fantastic style parodies. The joke gets real meta when their fake record label forces them to record a duo album covering each other’s greatest hits. The video above has the best example of everything.
Limozeen’s Greatest Hit: Because It’s Midnight
Sloshy’s Greatest Hit: We Don’t Even Really Care (About You)

I'd Like to See More, but I Like What I See

The Be Sharps from The Simpsons
A barbershop quartet, and it’s from the Simpsons? The universe conspired to make sure I couldn’t not love this band.
The Be Sharps’ Greatest Hit: Baby on Board⁶

School of Rock from School of Rock
Having Jack Black as your lead singer will go a long way towards winning me over. Making him were a young boy’s school uniform? That’ll get you the rest of the way.
School of Rock’s Greatest Hit: Teacher’s Pet

Bands a Little too Close to Being Real
I love these groups, but are questionably close to being actual bands, so I leave them out of my final category.

Blues Brothers from Saturday Night Live
This band started as a sketch on SNL with John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd dressed as bees. Fictional, yes? Well then they assembled one of the best ensemble of blues musicians to back them up, took of the bee costumes, made a movie, released albums, and went on tour. Fiction, indeed.
Blues Brothers’ Greatest Hits: Rubber Biscuit, Rawhide, Everybody Needs Somebody

Dethklok from Metalocalypse
This is a band of cartoons, so surely they can’t be real. They’ve gone on tour, nonetheless. Some awesome metal musicians joined Brendon Small to play the songs from the show across the country. Besides, when the best metal album in a year is from a cartoon show, that’s real enough for me.
Dethklok’s Greatest Hits: Muder Train a Comin’, Face-Fisted, Hatredcopter

Spinal Tap from Spinal Tap
The ultimate fictional band takes it to 11. From the movie, to the tours, to the recent rival, this band causes me to question what’s real. Like the Matrix⁷.
Spinal Tap’s Greatest Hits: Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight, Big Bottom, Stonehenge

Bands I Would.. err, Do Actually Listen To

The Beets from Doug
Nostalgia in song. I loved Doug, and was quite surprised to find I still enjoy the Beatl… I mean Beets. The Beets. Now I can only dream that whoever owns the rights to Doug decides to put together a reunion tour before one of them gets shot outside of a hotel room⁸.
The Beets’ Greatest Hits: Killer Tofu, I Need Mo’ Allowance, Shout Your Lungs Out

A Mighty Wind (Folk Super Group) from A Mighty Wind
A movie with 3 of the best fictional bands in existence⁹ ends with all of them forming a supergroup to perform the titular song. Super awesome.
Mitch and Mickey’s Greatest Hit: When You’re Next to Me
The Folksmen’s Greatest Hit: Old Joe’s Place
The New Main Street Singers’ Greatest Hit: Wandering

Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem from The Muppet Show
I don’t know how to describe the band if you don’t know it. I couldn’t even decide on a video to use. In fact the one I used isn’t even just the band. It’s all the Muppets, but the band is featured on the rocking section post bridge. You go and find your own favorite video. Why do I have to do all the work?
Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem’s Greatest Hits: All of them. Boom.

Dewey Cox and the Hard Walkers from Walk Hard
Please ignore the awful fan made music video, the song is amazing. The biopic about every musician ever features perfect style parodies of Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan, and Brian Wilson’s descent into madness. Watch the movie. WATCH IT!
Dewey Cox and the Hard Walkers’ Greatest Hits: Black Sheep, Walk Hard, Royal Jelly, Beautiful Ride

Sex Bob-omb from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
This movie is chock full of great fictional bands. But this one wins the battle of the bands¹⁰, so how could I not pick them? Beck did an amazing job writing all the music for the band, especially in making the band have a sound and not just have them play Beck songs. Feel free to also see “The Clash at Demonhead”, “Crash and the Boys”, et al.
Sex Bob-Omb’s Greatest Hits: Garbage Truck, We Are Sex Bob-Omb, Threshhold

The Wonders from That Thing You Do!
One hit wonders my ass! The band, that will always be “The One-ders” in my heart, has a selection of hits available on the soundtrack, including a second song called “That Thing You Do”. If you haven’t seen the movie, do so now. I’ll wait.
The Wonder’s Greatest Hits: That Thing You Do, Little Wild One, Dance With Me Tonight, All My Only Dreams

Munchausen by Proxy from Yes Man
You now have a reason to see Yes Man. You’re welcome. 4 songs on the soundtrack, and 4 hits. Backed by the band Von Iva and fronted by Zooey Deschanel who play exclusively quarky songs featuring keytars? This may be the perfect band. What’s that you say? It’s a cliché for a nerd to be in love with Zooey Deschanel¹¹? Just let me have this one.
Munchausen by Proxy’s Greatest Hits: Uh-Huh, Sweet Ballad, Yes Man, Keystar



This entire post has been my random thoughts for the night.




¹Unrelated note, but does anyone know how Roman firefighting works?
²Unrealted note, but does anyone know how bears work?
³Including a suspicious amount of knives.
⁴In that I’ve been listening to them. Not joining them. Well not all of them.
⁵More accurately, both.
⁶I’m very tempted to list “C. Everett Koop”. Look it up.
⁷I’m pretty sure that movie exists, but it could be one of my elaborate dreams.
⁸Too soon? Or not soon enough?
⁹Or not in existence.
¹⁰Spoiler alert.
¹¹You shut up! You shut up and you die!